Monday, December 27, 2010


Oh, and Dad came home for Xmas. He actually came home a week or so before, but now he's gone back for 10 days. Blegh. But then he'll be coming home for good. YAY!

Anyhoo...Here's a quote:

"Talk to me not of time and place; I owe I'm happy to the chase."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


So...Dad's home, just fyi. He's actually been home for a while now. A ... well, two weeks or so? I guess...Sounds about right. I guess we're going on the third week.

Friday, November 12, 2010


I know where I belong. I belong in this school. This life. These people. My peers are my friends. My teachers are my mentors. The only thing that is a little scary is the Upper School, but it won't be for long. Next year, it won't be scary anymore. And I will be able to walk the halls with my head held high with all the people in them. But no, maybe I will be able to do that this year too. And today.

Today has been such a great day.

Thanks to:

1) Uhuh/MLee
2) staring at earlobes
3) pledging allegience to two American flags in the morning (I pledge allegience to...oh my gosh! There's two flags!--it was funnier when we were talking about it)
4) laughing your head off for no reason...except because it's funny
5) leelee's crackers
6) cemetaries, sedimentary, PEHnguins, dancing penguins, and a smiling face of someone you love.
7) that grade is coming home.

And penguins can't get hot because they're penguins! And it's cold down there. And thinking this through.
That's a different story for a different day.
When the plane saved the day.

Love. Peaches. Chicken Greases. Rock On Foozsh!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


My most recent addition on my list of HOPE is this realization that I actually love a certain person as a person, a human being, with feelings, the way I try to love everyone. This isn't lovey-dovey, and mushy-gushy love...or the love/lust thing with your significant other. Or the plain ol' innocent love with that special person! This is loving someone because they are a person...and a human being with feelings...and because this is the way God wants us to be. He wants us to love everyone.
And I finally don't see this person as an annoying substance! Okay, I never did, but I'm trying to say that I'm actually back to the point I was at before this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing happened. I realized, today, that I have the same feeling I had towards him (omgoo it's a him! I bet you were trying to figure that out ^_^) BEFORE WAY BEFORE I started having the slightest feelings of a maybe crush.

I have toastly come FULL CIRCLE!
Yes! Scarbs! Everything comes full circle, and I just had an EUREKA! because my life just came full circle.

And it feels amazing. One of the best feelings I've had in a LONG LONG time.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for waiting. I'm sorry I made you all wait a whole month for another post...
October was very busy. And the computer wasn't always availible. That's because Ms. Bieber was at my house. ^_^
More on that later.


I do care. I do want him to come home. But as I told him two weeks ago, I don't want him coming back until he won't do it again. I don't want you to come back, Dad, until you will never ever EVER EVER relapse again!! But...the thing that scares me is that...what if you never come back? What if you never come back? It's not like there's a scanner they put you through and it all of a sudden says, "You will never relapse again". And that scares me. Because then you would never come back.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


Nobody ever grows unless there's pain.


I wanna get to know somebody who's the opposite of me, someone I wouldn't usually get to know.
I wanna dance in the rain.
I wanna feel no pain.

Instead of goin' insane, right here by your side.
I'd rather be in the storm.
I'd rather be cold, alone, than warm, right here by your side.
I've gotta find where I belong.
I ain't gonna find that here, right here by your side.

This is stupid...
How they cuss.
Too bad I'm just not good enough.
I gotta get out of their way, before they run me down and over, right here by your side.
Oh, but they won't touch you!
Oh, but they just can't!
You're too good!
You're too neat!
You're too cool!
I could drool.
Too bad she doesn't drool over your fancy-shmancy new hair cut.
Or your hottie-tottie new phone.
Or your cutsie-patootsie new accent.
Or the way you run...
I don't know.

Don't know much anymore.
But I'm runnin'.
When I'm runnin' I try not to feel.
The segments are all comin' back to me.
And I try not to let it feel real.

It's all comin' back to me now.
Like, touché, deja vu, oh my gawd.
I wanna touch, wanna smell, wanna start over new.

But not here, right here by your side.


aaaahhhhh... rain


my morning has been like moldy cake. 

It seems really sweet until you look closer and notice the fuzzy, gray hairs growing in clumps...
and then it's just moldy...and used-to-be sweet.

Saturday, September 25, 2010


But you know what DOESN'T give me hope?


THAT doesn't give me hope.

The people that go for help for their addiction...and the people at IDAA...the addicts...or recovering addicts....THEY don't even give me hope anymore.


I guess that's what happens when your dad relapses.

And, no, I don't care if he comes back. I'm going to put that out there right now. I don't care. At this point, I. Just. Don't. Care.

Friday, September 24, 2010


I'm gonna buy that song:

Sky Blue Sky

Wednesday, August 4, 2010



S...for someone
U...for U R My Sunshine, my only sunshine
P...for Persons
E...for Eternal Life
R...for Remember me
C...for Daddy
A...for Awesome--toastly awesomeish, but not as much as leelee
I...for Igloos that people have to live in for the first time
F...for Food cuz some people just don't have enough
R...for Read and others
A...for Alligators, they have lives to lead
G...for goodness
I...for a beautiful friend
L...for a friend I wish to know better this year
I...for Inyone and spelling it wrong
S...for smiles
T...for Troy from High School Musical
I...for I know that even though I really don't
C...for caring when you "shouldn't"
E...for Earl--I have no idea who you are, but this is for you
X...for X-ray fish that little kids wonder why? about
P...for the bare necessities
E...for Earth
A...for also.
L...for learning
I...for integrity
D...for dog's best friend
O...for Open wide
C...for Christ
I...for integration
O...for a friend who we hope comes back to our team, was in my dream last night
U...for Under Armor, not the stuff they sell in stores, but what you have naturally & what you work on
S...for Sleep


P...for People
R...for Reincarnation
O...for Oh, my, goo.
S...for my brother
P...for please, oh, please, ooh, please
E...for Everyone
R...for reconciliation
I...for I
T...for a friend who lost love that was never there
Y...for you.


My life wasn't broken, okay, fine, why not?
That's pretty true I guess.

But the thing is...I wasn't over him. I wasn't over it. I sure thought I was. But I wasn't. 

A while ago...a few weeks back...I had a dream...and I woke up and I said...that's it. this is it. it's done and i'm over him. i'm over you. i'm over it.
We were all sitting in a giant theater, kind of like the Pinnacle...only a lot bigger. Big enough for all the people I've seen in my life. Or maybe just half. All the people who I've seen their face. But mostly people that I actually know. Know their name...or knew once upon a time. The movie was over and we were all getting up and HE was in front of me. I immediately turned around. I didn't want to see him. I started walking up the get out of the theater. He had been right in front of me. Now...unfortunately, he was right behind me. I hadn't seen him that whole time until we got up. 

I had my hair in two braids. I felt a tug on my left braid. I whirled around. I jammed my forefinger into his chest and looked into his eyes. They were dark because it was dark in the theater. But they didn't affect me anyway. 
    "Don't touch me! Don't touch me ever again! Never touch me. Again. --------, I loved you once. But I. Don't. Love. You. Any. More. So don't ever touch me again. Don't touch me ever again. Don't touch me. Don't touch me ever again."

I walked right past him to two people who helped me through some of the tough times "after" and they were both smiling. One shook my hand. 
   "We're proud of you."


Driving up the East Coast
Looking at the cars go by
Meeting people on the road
Wondering the sky blue sky?
What is reason to be brought here
Just to see the clouds go by
Wondering if I should ever hear...
If I should ever buy...
Sky Blue Sky.


Here's a bible verse for the day:

one to help me in being scared: "That we may boldly say: He is my helper; I am strong. What can man do to me." Hebrews 13: 6
or's close enough.

and here's another one: "God, let me set aside everything I think I know that I might have an open mind and a new experience." I'm not sure that that's a bible verse cuz it doesn't have the book and chapter and verse.

and sorry I haven't blogged in forever. But I'll try to more. And it will be easier as school starts up again.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


i've always been taught to not have a best friend...cuz what do you do when they leave you for some one or some thing else? and what do you do if they move away?

i guess having a sister is the same thing as a best friend.
except we both say we don't have a best friend.
which makes me feel better about it.
that we aren't best friends.
just sisters.


how stupid am i to believe


that i could possibly


my sister

my own sister



if everyone in this world got a paper crane...
...and knew what it meant...
if everyone in this world gave a paper crane...
...and knew what it mean...



I just...I just HAVE to post this...

I found it...a while back...from somewhere...probably my mom.

And I found it again on A Girl In My Own World's blog...



With those Sketchers shoes
where you don't have to tie your shoes
because they have no shoelaces...

They say on the commercial
That you may never have to
tie your shoelaces again... wouldn't that mean that some kids will never learn how to tie their shoelaces at least until they're too old to wear those shoes?? and wouldn't they be 9 or 10 years old by then?? or maybe even 11?? and what if their feet stay small for a long time?? and what if shoes are made for teens like that?? and eventually... one learns how to tie their shoes.


When summer around the corner comes,
We start to fight,
Begin to run,
To pool parties,
Overnight camps,
Lazy days,
Beachy fun.

But what about those
who don't have these things?
Who settle in the shadows
Waiting for the rain that the sky never brings
Sweating in the heat
Dreaming big dreams
Of at least getting away
For at least one day

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Very often we end up in the wrong place because we start in the wrong place. If you get on the wrong train at the station at the beginning, you will be in the wrong place at the end.  If you get on the wrong train of thought when you are young, you will end up in stupidity or evil (and thus misery) when you are old.  And so, many people in the world decide that the beginning of wisdom is money, or sex, or drugs, or rock’n'roll, when they start out and end up as sane as Howard Hughes, as happy as Marilyn Monroe, and as full of life as Kurt Cobain or Janis Joplin.  Ours is a thoroughly fouled-up race in that regard.  So God helps us out in today’s verse: He tells us where to begin because we would usually never figure it out without the hint.  Start with the fear of the Lord and you will, slowly but surely, gain understanding and, in the process come to happiness.  For you will come to the Lord, who is our happiness.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


song for you:

The Voice Within

by Christina Aguilera


I'm just going to say #33

You are such an idiot.


My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because
you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you
'deserve better than this.'
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already
know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're
too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to
admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look
in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of a genuine friendship...because
nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance
demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you
refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince
you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.
Untrue. I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me
You'll never know."

††here's something my mom gave to me a while back.
I didn't make it up. but it's brilliant

††moral of the story?? don't let pride rule your life...
or else you'll miss a lot of things.

Saturday, May 22, 2010


have you ever been to Nashville?
Nashville, Tennessee?
You know, where the Hard Rock Cafe is. And the old Oprey place. And that great big stadium across the river. Where there are suddenly people everywhere. Almost as if we're in a deserted New York City. There's The Melting Pot. A statue of two men shaking hands. One Native American. One white-pale-faced man. Where there's Church Street and Gay Street going opposite of each other. Have you ever been to that part of Nashville? The Downtown? I hope you have. I hope someday you will.

There's a 3rd and Church Health Care Place with a Walk in Clinic. Right up next to Printer's Alley. Then the next big thing is the Life and Casuality Tower.

Have you ever been there?
And looked up at the One Nashville Place.
And thought about doing your ALEKS.
Oh, you don't want to AT ALL.
You're tired again.
Like you were this morning when you left to come here for the Duke TIP awards thing.
And you wish you had helped your brother with his project.
And now you've lost some respect for his partner.
Oh, and you're hoping and wishing and hoping and wishing that it DIDN'T hurt his grade too much.
Oh, PLEASE don't hurt his grade.
Oh, PLEASE don't hurt his grade.
But as for this morning...this morning seems ages ago.
This morning?
Wasn't this morning last week?
The Duke TIP awards ceremony?
No, that was definitely last week.
And the voice recital I had on Thursday?
Wasn't that a month ago?
That was definitely a month ago.
Or at least a few weeks.
And the PIANO recital on Monday.
Yup, that was definitely a month ago.
No, not two months.
But somewhere there.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

If happy little blue birds fly...
                                           ...beyond the rainbow
Why oh why can't I?

Friday, May 21, 2010


I'm not over it


Hey guess what?
My life ain't bad
I am happy
No longer sad

I know what to say
When certain things come my way
And I know what to ignore
And I'm trying to do better when I don't want to
To be bored

And don't be mad
And don't be sad
my friend
my friends
We all are sad sometime or another
But please don't dwell

...Because I did

Saturday, May 1, 2010


here's a letter that I've written to a very special person in my life. This person hasn't received the letter yet...but someday soon--hopefully--she will. she knows a lot more about me than a lot of my friends do. and she's not who you would expect.

(actually it's just part of the letter...that thing is über long..this is a fraction of what i owe)

(but i'm taking names out)

2. Remember a long, long time ago when I gave you my Barrier Island poem book? Remember how you said there was a lot of symbolism about me sitting between my two closest guyfriends at the time? I remember. And there was. And there is. And one of the many things I've learned from this is: 

You can't make a move without deciding where to go. You can't come to a fork in the road and not make a decision. And sometimes you don't know you're at a fork in the road. You can't keep moving forward without deciding where you're going to put your foot next. And you don't get up without deciding which hand to hold on to

   I took the path I took. It was neither right nor wrong. Both sound good in the sentence, but they don't fit. And I learned another thing:

   Sometimes, whichever path you take at a fork in the road--whether you go right, left, or just walk back--it all ends up leading to the same place.


                           Story of my life...
                                              Plus more to come.


What?! Can you not trust me anymore? Just because I can't trust you?
well, i guess that makes sense...
but really! what did I ever do to you?
        And don't even ask what you did to me
you should know by now...

but baby, I'm over it...and I'm over you and your antics as well.

But I still can't believe you thought I'd break THAT promise.
Girl, are you out of your MIND?


Dear Goodness...

       now what in the world would I write to "Dear Goodness"?

Sunday, April 25, 2010


You know what the most beautiful language in this world is?

Sign language is the very most beautiful language in this world.

And whoever doesn't believe that...

                                                         ...has never seen the most beautiful language in the world.

I Promise.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


My life's movin' on.
New decisions, thus made.
The scars from first love and first sorrow.
Are gettin' better each day.

Rays of sunshine drop in.
Past my desolate days.
I'm runnin' and comin',
Through my darkest of ways.

I love all my family,
I love my unbrothers as well,
My sissy and my friend,
They all pulled me out of my bottomless Hell.


My heart ain't broken.
My life's fully intact.
Now the rest of my life's comin'
Pitter-pattering back.


Life is good.
I ain't complainin'
The grass is green.
And the sky ain't rainin'

I can't remember the rest...

My mom noticed me "not being myself" recently. I thought nobody was noticing...boy, what I stupid thought. haha. boy. yeah, not really all that funny.

Life is good.
I ain't complainin'
The grass is green.
And the sky ain't rainin'...

The blooms are fallin'
Like butterfly snow.
In warm, sweet, spring air.

#21 song for today...

"We're runnin' against the wind..."

For I am runnin' against the wind...
For I am runnin' against the win...

Saturday, March 20, 2010


Whenever somebody writes a comment on here...if i think it should be...i will put it up as a post and give whoever wrote it the credit they deserve.

You deserve the credit
More than I deserve

This would be nothing
Without someone to write
Beside me.


How This Sounds:::

a synonym for not caring



and for all those that were in the 9/11 crash ... pray

for all those who were touched

we all were

i was.....

even if you weren't alive then, you will be.

and just a moment of silence


and on a nicer note...just remember...that not all bad came from the date 9/11

millions of people were born!
(i guess millions.... ^_^)

INCLUDING MY SISSY!!!! (i don't have a biological sissy...nor an adopted sissy)

Friday, March 19, 2010






And you might think to ask...

"Where is your heart now?"

"You said it was gone."

"Where is it now?"


I don't know.

I don't know where my heart is.

But even though my heart was gone,

my love was all around...

that my head...wait...

I said:

my love was all around...

and I was walking down the sidewalk past the trees...past the myself...sun shining...but no one around...towards the central building...and my love was all around.

I heart is not in me.

My love has replaced my heart.

He must have taken my heart.

But it's not his responsibility to put it back...

And it's not like he totally left me...

Who says you need a heart inside you to love?

I know it doesn't make much sense.

And goes against everything...ever said about a heart's love.

But maybe I'm just abnormal.

But maybe I'm just different.

But maybe I'm just myself.

My love has replaced my heart.

And my heart is all around me.

It's outside in the nature-filled's somewhere without icy cold stares.

 It may be in the cold.

I wouldn't know.

But my heart is somewhere out there..

I don't know where it is.

Don't ask me.

Well, you can.

But expect a well-thought-out answer.

A teaser.

A thinker.

Not a slap-happy, quick word.

But something to lay your life on.

I don't know where my heart is ... ... ... But I can always give you my love.



Have you ever...?

Have you not...?

Have you wanted to die...?

Just lay down and rot...?

But not wanting to die...?

Just wanting to freeze...?

Just wanting to not have to be...?


I know it's not creative.

I know you might think it's lame.

And my attitude really and truly was.

But I was in a phase...

And I called it:

The Great Depression.


Not funny.

Not funny at all.

My world became dark.

My soul's light became small.

My heart had escaped.

And it had torn me in two.

In millions and billions and gazillions of two.

And I said that he had it.

But he just didn't know.

I said that he had it.

And, boy, was I in woe.

My heart belongs to what's-his-face.

I try to begin again and again.

I didn't know what to know.

I turned around and everything was broken piece by piece.

I'm not sure what all it was.

It was my light that had escaped.

My heart was gone.

My life run wrong.

A wave refusing to lap upon the shore.

Sure, I still smiled.

And had great fun.

And some days were better than other ones.

But no one knew,

How I cried when I was alone.

I cried at home.

I cried at school.

I wished someone would see me.

But my aloneness always prevailed.

The wind dried my tears as friends did.

I wanted to run crying to the library one day,

But that surging wind just got in my way.

As I ran so as not to be late to lunch,

God above must've had some sort of hunch.

Because that wind dried my tears in my eyes.

And that wind I did start to despise.

I want you to see me cry.

Because then I will have nothing to hide.

I want to stand behind a glass door.

I want you all to see me there.

I want to see who turns away first.

I want to see who turns away eventually.

I want to see who calls for help,

although no one could help me.

I want to see who tries to break down that great big glass door,

although it could not be broken.

And I want to see who stays forever.

And I want to see who asks if I'm okay,

although I really wasn't, but wouldn't tell you that.

And I want to see how long it would take me to be all alone.

I want to go behind that glass door and close my eyes and open them and see how the numbers have dwindled.

and see how my fire has been kindled.

It wouldn't be.

I want to stand behind that glass door.

And I want you to see me cry.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010



i just want my brothers...back... :________( ....all my brothers... and i want them to stay... how they were forever...forever... :__________(



does anyone ever feel that way?
it makes me want to cry.

I am alone
I am on my own
That is all I know
I am strong
I am wrong
But life does go on
I am just a girl
I am trying to find a place in this world.

...i'll continue later...I have to wrap it up for now.


I don't know what I want...oh another song popped into my head...

here we go with "A Place In This World" by Taylor Swift

(ps. if anyone wants to post something that will be put up on the main page not just as a comment, leave a comment with whatever you want to post and say that you want me to put it up as a post...following me??? if not...let me know)::

I dont know what i want, So dont ask me, cause im still trying to figure it out.
Don't know what's down this road,
im just walking.
Trying to see through the rain coming down.
Even though im not the only one,
that feels the way i do.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
I'll be strong, i'll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans,
And im wearing my heart on my sleeve. Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine.
Can you tell me what more do i need?
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah,
but that's okay.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
I'll be strong, i'll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

Maybe im just a girl on a mission,
but im ready to fly.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
Oh, i'll be strong, i'll be wrong.
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im alone, on my own,
and that's all i know.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

Oh, im just a girl.
Oh, im just a girl.
Oh, oh.
Oh, im just a girl.

[Thanks to SouthernPride025 for lyrics]

[Thanks to bri, Mariah, Annie, Mandi for corrections]


Has anyone ever felt this way???
...I'll continue this...on another post...
(ps. it's all in dark blue because this is my life my essence my soul pouring out only i didn't come up with the music or the song or the words, that's all taylor swift)

Monday, March 15, 2010


I sent this to myself this AM from my iPod to my computer....from gmail to school email....what does this tell you about me??? idk why i thought of that...i was not nice this am...oh it and ... not weep... but i guess...wonder....


ppl say that ppl do but i need to know from THE ppl that feel this way. that they do. and why they do. and how they know they do. and when they do....

[this was from me]

here it is...está aquí:

U r a freaking loser...
Sent from my iPod

Sunday, March 14, 2010


YAY! random acts of kindness! random kinds of stuff!

YAY! random acts of kindness! to find out in this bluff!

YAY! random acts of kindness! i love you till the world's end!

YAY! random acts of kindness! love the world as your best friend!

YAY! random acts of kindness! the world, well is indeed!

YAY! random acts of kindness! your friends, your family!

YAY! random acts of kindness! live a life of good memories!

YAY! random acts of kindness! no room for fantasies! 'cause your life is all too good! and you don't need dreams!!!

(sorry it doesn't rhyme at the end..i gotta go to's like this: "roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't"'s like life..yupperz pupperz)


another email mom sent to me. i say it's for all of you:

  Prayer for Sleep Despite Fears 

O Lord, my nighttime fears are very real, 
but so, too, is your love for me.
Help me take into my heart your desire for my safety,
and bring upon me a nightly peace
that erases all my anxiety and lets me sleep calmly,
to awaken refreshed
and fearful no more.


an email that I got from my mom. also for you. she didn't say it was for you. but i did. so it is:

It is not what you gather but what you scatter in life that tells what  
kind of life that you have lived....
So my challlange to you is to scatter as many smiles as you can this  
week.  Scatter as many random acts of kindness this week...
Have a wonderful week.


Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place




Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a batter place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place

Make the world a better place Make the world a better place Make the world a better place Make the world a better place Make the world a better place

________________________________________________ _______________________________________ ________________________________________

Do we really want to be...

this small???

are you going to let people...

push you down???

Or will you grow stronger....

no matter what they say???

Will you grow bigger...

every single day???

Will you be that person...

who you want to be???

Won't I listen to you...

like you listen to me???

Wouldn't it be great and grand...

if the world would see???

Wouldn't it be wonderful...

if the world would try to see???

And wouldn't it be even better if we just laid it all down and said:





wouldn't it be great if everyone could find that voice???










let's LIVE.


The first two lines of this song were stuck in my head, and I couldn't figure out which song they were from. It just popped in out of nowhere. So I googled it. I came up with songs called "I'm sorry" but I knew they weren't the right ones. As I did this, the rest of the song flowed in bit by bit, like a wave pushing through a dam. It was battering to get in and I was fighting to not lose it. I usually don't put songs on here, but this one is special. It's by the Jonas Brothers, yes, but it just goes to show that it doesn't matter where something comes from, it can still be an old favorite. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, or what in this world has changed since you did that, sometimes it just matters what you think of and what hits you hardest. And this just hits home with me...everything I've been through recently...everything I know of happened recently...just the fact that these things DO happen...and my life has barely started...there will be more to come...just gotta get ready for it...there may be something harder down the road than this. It's hard to imagine now, but there will Rock On Jonas Brothers plus LIFE:

Broken hearts
And last goodbyes
Restless nights
By lullabies
Helps to make this pain go away
I realize I let you down
Told you that I'd be around
Building up the strength just to say

I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
You told me
This time is the last time
I will ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

Filled with sorrow
Filled with pain
Knowing that I am to blame
For leaving your heart out in the rain
And I know
You're going to walk away
Leave me with a price to pay
Before you go I wanted to say

That I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
You told me
This time is the last time
I will ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

I can't make it
Alive on my own
But if you have to go
Then please girl
Just leave me alone
'Cause I don't wanna see
You and me
Going our separate ways

Begging you to stay
If it isn't too late.

Yeah I'm sorry
For breaking all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
It's all of me
This time is the last time
I will ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way.

But you're already on

Your way.

You don't have to like their music, you just have to listen to the words. Let it hit home. Let it touch your well as any music that you listen to. Let it speak to you in more than words. Listen in between the lines.

I just love this song.
'Tis a good thing.

To love.


We all wanna be remembered

We all wanna soar to the stars

We all wanna play piano

We all wanna rock a guitar

We all wanna write a best seller

We all wanna take a trip to mars

We all wanna play the bugle

We all wanna be a part....

A part of what?

What is it that we want to be a part of?

Does society really know what everyone wants??? And what everyone needs????

My guess is no.

My guess is that we're not even close.

What is your biggest dream???

What would u like to accomplish???

Nothing is lame.

If nothing was lame, everything would be lame.


put it here.

if you so wish.

if you don't so wish.

that's alright, okay?


but it's not okay.

NOTHING is okay.

and people think that means EVERYTHING is okay.

but it doesn't.


I am way too rushed.

All the time.

Way too rushed.

All the time.

Can't see up from down.

Can't see wrong from right.

I don't got time to breathe.

I don't got time to be.

I don't got time for you.

And I don't got time for me.

But come into this world,

This solitary, freaking world.

And if you want a piece,

A nice, beautiful, happy piece,

Come to me,

Come here

We are trying to belong in this world.

You can't do it by yourself.

You can't do it with anyone else.

You don't have time for you.

And you don't have time for me.

come on...let's just BE.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

Does anybody not know what I'm talking about?
Because if you don't...this might not makes sense, but you really do know what I'm talking about...

...ok...that doesn't make sense...


let's just say...that if you are goal has prevailed.

Monday, March 8, 2010


exactly what is it that you look for in life?

do you KNOW what you look for in life?

or do you just WAIT for something to come find you?

because last time I checked ... life just didn't work that way...

or has it CHANGED since then???

Does anybody CARE?


Where do I belong?

Do I belong no where?


Can anyone tell me?


I have to find it myself, don't I?

Gee thanks world...

Gee thanks...