Friday, June 17, 2011


I just saw a thing that I hung on my curtains back when I was really young that I made in Sunday School. It says "Obey God". And I though...well..How am I supposed to do that if I don't know whether he's there or not?
I do have my doubts...but I still WANT to believe. But I still have doubts. I walk through them though.'s still called walking. ^_^
But there's still that question in the back of my head...

How am I supposed to obey God if I don't know what he wants me to do because he won't tell me??!!

...because I'll know. because you'll know what to do...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


   Why does she keep provoking me? Shuddup. shuddup. shuddup.

But she keeps going on. That stupid, frickin' "sweet" voice...the sarcasm. SHUDDUP! Now she's going around the other side of the car. And I'm not trying to control ANYTHING, where the heck did she get that and why does she keep using it on me??? But maybe I am trying to control my belongings, and I tell her. And she comes back with this witty-bla-bla comeback. And I am ENRAGED!!!!!!! She shuts the door behind her and I AM ENRAGED!!!!! Everything races through my head in a blinding flash, I got all my stuff that I wanted to get out of the car, screw you, but not everything, like you said, so screw you. SHE KNEW THIS WOULD MAKE ME ENRAGED!!!!! AND SHE DOES IT ANYWAYS!!!! THE STUPID STUPID FRICKIN' STUPID SCREWY ..... WHATEVER SHE IS OR THINKS SHE IS! She has NO idea.....So I slam open the door,
   "YOU!" escapes from my thoughts and I bang down the hallway. Heavy footsteps shake the room and I am totally oblivious to it. I am like a wild bull seeing a fierce, bloody red. Ready to take it down. It will not kill me
   I come around the corner, and of course, she's cowering in a corner--a sure sign of weakness--behind her "protector" oh, she will always protect you, don't worry. She makes stupid faces at me, saying "bring it" "you can't hurt me" "you disgust me" she turns up her nose and wrinkles her forehead and she looks away from me, glaring towards the TV. She gets away with it all. It's so frickin' stupid!! There is nothing for me here! But I AM ENGRAGED!!!!! 

   The "protector" gets on both of us. And starts one of her many lengthy and oh-so ANNOYING, like, pull-your-hair-out-annoying lectures. How it relates to life bla bla bla. How this will help us bla bla bla. How she doesn't bla bla bla care anymore. And SHE leaves and starts walking up the stairs. Next time, you better watch out, because you won't always have somebody to run to and hide behind. 
   You say I had her cowering in a corner? Well, just FYI, she didn't have me anywhere near a cowering corner. But I WAS ENRAGED!!!!!!!!!  

   And that is how I was left, with my arms crossed across my chest, scowling, staring at the old, faded donkey piñata wondering how and WHY the heck I started running like that in the first place. 

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Here's my old profile:

I've had 10 pets in my lifetime...or maybe 10 cats...not sure. Obviously, I am abnormal. I am not abnormality; i have a really good friend, and he's really the one who's abnormality (officially).

I am currently in Middle School. Let's Have The Time Of Our Lives!!!
hmm...I would really like to be a writer and vet when I grow up. i like chocolate. hmmm... there was this thing I found once upon a time that I think we can all relate to:

"I like long walks on the beach, reading, and poking things with a stick." anyone can really agree with that. If you can't, tell me.
I've got more than 3 blogs open to the public LOL..(here's a few) .A Splurge Of Abnormality, Jodaina Alaska Taylor, and COWS!!!. the 2nd one is a story I'm writing with a friend or two of mine. all you need to know about the third one is the URL.
so yeah, look around, enjoy. find something you love? let me know.
find something you hate? tell me. I'm all ears...or I try to be...cuz I know how hard it is when no one listens. LOL Love. Peach. Chick Grease. Rock On Foozsh. 3 Words Girls.

Maybe now it'll get gone. :)


Okay. Music is at the veeery bottom!
thanks for reading, watching, and listening in on my life when I need you to!

i wish you enough MUSIC 4life and ftw!!!! (for the win)...yeah...I didn't know what that meant either...and then people thought I was crazy and looked at me like I was crazy. Am I looking at you like you're crazy??? O.o
...i am???

...>.> sorry....<3

#73 wasn't as bad as thought. I did get upset a little again when I confronted's okay now. Oh yeah...and...I thought of a maybe-title-for-a-maybe-book

KSM (yeah, I was thinking about the band)
Kiss Samchel 4 Me (not really Samchel...but I won't tell you the real think, you crazy stalker!) (^////^)

about a girl who loves a guy, but can't get close to him for one reason or another

this is NOT about ANYONE that I know. The name just came up from a really close (at the moment, and mentally/emotionally/stuff) person to me.

maybe they met in a "psych ward" not really a "psych ward" but a place like...a rehab sort of thing for teens. Oh, this could be SO GOOD!



part of me wanted to type in a ":)" other half, "Love," and I was thinking ":)" but my body did "Love," in my mind I only saw the "L" until it was too late.

*Location by Freelance Whales*

and I did NOT break what I said !!! Location is not part of my playlist...yet....mwhahaha!


I will not post anymore of the songs on the playlist after this!!

Perfect by Pink

is so much better than the counterpart!!!! sooo glad she made this, I am, said yoda!!!



now I have to go confront him...and mom....

wish me luck!


*Strange by Stacey Clark*


Okay, so my brother was a twerp this morning. Comes into my room, I know it was on mom's doors, but still! Don't be a TWERP! Geez....

So what did he do? He told me to get up, and when I said, "I will when you leave," (which I WAS GOING TO BY THE WAY!) he DIDN'T LEAVE!!!!

*Generator ^ 2nd Floor by Freelance Whales*

But I am being calmed by Freelance Whales...You can probably tell...^_^
I think I'll put my playlist in this blog too. ^_^

So DON'T FIX MY SMILE!!!!! TODAY!!!!! :)

I've cried enough today so I'm not going to get to that point!

Oh yeah, and then he got off the bed--YES HE GOT ON THE BED!!--and stopped being annoying in that light. Then, he went and turned the lights on!!!!!

*Quiet by Demi Lovato*

and he turned them off a couple of times, but i was SCREAMING AT HIM AND HE WOULDN'T FRICKIN' TURN THEM OFF!!!!

*sigh* I won't go into backstabbing detail. Or backstabbling detail anyways. I would have gotten on up anyways. I was nice, yes, at first...but there comes a time when it's too early in the morning and I would LOVE to save I didn't want him controlling my morning...and guess what? He's not. DON'T YOU LOVE THIS??? I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BLOG!!!!

You + this blog + my favorite songs of the moment = HAPPY HAPPY ME!!!!!! :))))))

*We'll Be A Dream by We The Kings feat. Demi Lovato*

annnnnd fyi bruthah? I already got up this morning, HOURS AFTER WE GOT HOME!! (We got home at 1:00am...(went to see an amazing show of fireflies that seems to be VERY hard to, when you get there, ummm,,, there's more fireflies in my front yard then there! Although...they don't flash like that, so it WAS worth it. I did do another my head (like what I did with the dude who sat next to me at the theater the other day AKA Will). Maybe I'll post that later. It'll be easy. I didn't write it down...but it's totally in my head.
Anyhoo, like I said, I woke up at 5:50. 6 hours after we arrived at home!!!

And I got up. WITHOUT YOU BRUTHAH WHO I ALMOST PUT YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE NAME ON HERE OOPS!!!! ^/////& (<< that's me with a black eye. Very embarrassed ^//////&. op! there it goes again.... ^////////////////////////^ my un-black-eyed self is very VERY embarrassed)

*Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice*

Okay,,, I have no idea why Ice Ice Baby is one of my right now faves....I guess...It just is...because it just is. Nice beat. I don't listen to the lyrics so much...I AM sorry about the part where he says "girls wearing less than bikinis" SORRY GIRLS!!! I KNOW....KIND OF WEIRD...I AM A GIRL. And TOASTLY NOT INTERESTED IN WEARING LESS THAN A BIKINI...but like I said...I don't pay attention to the lyrics...that part just sticks out... ^////^

Oh yeah, I got up at like, 5:50 and went downstairs to get a cup of water. It is RIGHT HERE ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE TO PROVE IT!!! (not that anyone cares except for you :( sad kitty....)  and then I went to the bathroom. I didn't wake anyone up though. *shrug* Oh well.

"Let's get out of here. Word to your mother."?????WHAAAAAAT?????? that part sticks out too.. ^_^

*Obsessed by Amy Kuney*

OMYGOO!!!! I FOUND THE PERSON WHO SUNG IT BEFORE MILEY CYRUS!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A PERSON!!!!...sorry for the the whole thing...welcome to my world...where "frickin" is as bad as it gets. Okay, on a bad day, it's "crap" but that's like...a really bad thing...and I guess I just couldn't easily fit "crap" into this sitch with my brother. >.> but the point is i didn't right??? right....

Amy Kuney definitely sings it in a erhm...softer way then Miley. But I don't think Miley always sings badly. And no. I didn't go back to sleep. But you DEFINITELY woke me up bruthah. ... ....

*sorry don't wanna listen to *Secrets by OneRepublic*Quiet again*or Ice Ice Baby again*


I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

*Who Says by Selena Gomez& (<

I still love you all!!1
MOI!!! ...without being kitty...or anyone else, just me!!!!!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

#69. this is really on June 3, 2011

Boys are so stupid...okay...forget that please! Some boys have been and can be so stupid. BOYS ARE NOT STUPID!!!!! ... 

We went and Saw "X-Men: First Class" tonight. We sat down...then...some guys came in and sat down on the four or five seats left in the row to my right. The guy who sat right next to me kind of hesitated before sitting down next to me-- you know how people do that, right? I've done it, you've done it. We're scared and feel awkward (or at least I do) to sit down right next to somebody.

All throughout the movie, and before, I stole glances at this boy when I thought he wasn't looking. For once, I'd found^//////^ [that's me blushing :) ...] cute in a public place that didn't look older than me. He looked about my age!

Imagine...Draco Malfoy. funny, I know. I'm such a Harry Potter luvah. But imagine him, give him regular blonde (not platinum) hair. make it wavy. Widen his face, give his skin a little more color, instead of just pale. I thought of Draco Malfoy even though I know the guy looked nothing like him! And it wasn't because I though think he was is mean. It's because...well...that's the guy who came to my head. But I never NEVER got to see his face clearly. Just right face to face. Just right. I never got to see it just right. I never to see him just right. I never got to see him face to face...directly. I might never in my life again. I might never in my life again have the chance. And I was just too dang shy to look at him when he was looking at me.

It wasn't necessarily that he is cute. It wasn't that I wanted to ask him out. Although the good-looking factor didn't hurt.... >.>
But....I think it was more that I've been in that situation before (but never with a guy) (or at least not in such a strong degree as this). I just wanted to say hi. I just wanted to talk to him. Know his name. Above all, I just wanted to see his face. His whole face. Direct. Face to Face. And I didn't. always, I made up--in my head--a scenario that will never happen except in my dreams.

Plus, it was dark in the movie theater ... so that didn't help anything..


<><><and being the girl that I am, I partly ignored it, and decided to see past it. Everyone has good... why waste your mind on the bad??>>

Girl: *looks at the blonde, wavy haired boy sitting to her direct right* 

Boy: *turns head and looks at her* What?

Girl: *puts her head on the back of her neck in an embarrassed gesture/possibly looks down for a second* Sorry. *looks up* I just wanted to see your face. 

Boy: *has a "what?" look on his face* Excuse me? *says in a sarcastic way, not polite, but not being super mean*

Girl: I know. *cracks a smile* Sounds weird doesn't it? I just, I mean...*deep breath and sighs* .. I'm a writer. I write about things I know. And I don't know you, and it seems kind of a shame since I've had all these chances to talk to a random person, but I didn't take them. Just to get to know one more person. 

Boy: So you just wanted to talk to me?? *"what?" look* You're weird.

Girl: *laughs* I know I'm not making sense. 

Boy: Is this your weird way of asking me out?

Girl: *laughs* No, :) I'm not looking for a boyfriend. And I'm not looking for "just some guy" either. I guess I'm kind of looking for knowledge. And new friends. I like new friends. 

Boy: Okayyy...whatever.... *wide-eyed "weird person" look* 

Girl: Hey-- *puts hand on his shoulder/pokes him [maybe]* I'm sorry I made it weird. Maybe we can just start over. Pretend we never talked. 

Boy: *shrugs* Whatever. *"I guess so" look*



Girl: *pokes boy in the shoulder* Hey. 

Boy: *looks at girl* Hey?

Girl: Ummm...*looks at her feet**then looks up* and puts her hand out to shake the boy's* Hi. What's your name?

Boy: *looks at the girl's hand then looks at the girl and looks at the hand again and pushes/waves the hand away* Okay. This is just too weird. *exasperated&"what?" look* I don't even get why we're doing this.

Girl: *shrugs* Fine. That's perfectly cool with me. *smiles* What's your name?

Boy: [Will]

Girl: Cool. I'm [Kelley].

Boy: Where do you go to school?

Girl: Where do you go to school?

Boy: I asked you first.

Girl: So?

Boy: Ladies first.

Girl: I vouch for ladies second.

Boy: *rolls eyes* Fine. I go to [FarGut]. Now, where do you go to school?

Girl: *grimace/"well..." look* *looks up/deep breath* If I told you, you'd think I'm a rich, snotty brat.

Boy: *either has a "really?" look or says "Really?"**like he doesn't believe her.

Girl: Really, really.

Boy: Well, are you?

Girl: No. ... Well, I'm not rich. And I hope I'm not--I mean--I hope I don't seem like a snotty brat. I don't think I am a snotty brat. *looks at boy's face and laughs-he's not doing anything special, he's just thinking and I'm sure getting a little bored/a little frustrated that she's putting off answering his question* And after all this trouble, you probably won't even care..*laughs*

...*smirks/grimace/"well..." look* I go to [Webbkinz] [School].

Boy: *nods*"okay/whatever look"

Girl: Cool. *smiles* See, there's where a lot of ...well, I guess just a few, ... I don't know very many guys, well, people, outside my school. Just never had the chance, ya know? Anyways, a couple of times, when I've told people that, they flinched and looked away, kind of like they were trying to telapathically say to someone, "Help me, I'm stuck with this annoying [bee] who goes to [Webbkinz School]." I mean, it sucks, you know? People are so stereotypical. ... Well, I know I can be too...but doesn't feel good to be on that end of the stick.
...Sorry I keep babbling. I'm probably boring you out of your mind.

Boy: least it makes sense... --what you're saying I mean.

Girl: ha. ha. *nice sarcasm* Very funny.

Girl: Soo....*thinks about whether or not to ask how old he is*....what grade are you going into next year?

Boy: [9th]

Girl: Really? Me too.

Boy: How old are you?

Girl: Oh. [14]

Boy: Really? *shrugs*

Girl: How old are you? *looks at him shyly*

Boy: [15]

Girl: Cool. I'll be [15] in [October] What grade are you....?

Boy: [9th]


Boy: Well. ... I guess I'll see you around.

Girl: Yeah...

Boy: *turns to go*

Girl: Hey! We'll probably see each other. It was... nice to meet you. And talk to you.

Boy: *looks at girl in the kinda squinty "what?" look* So, are you able to write about me now?

Girl: *double-take (cuz she forgot about that)*..Oh! Oh....well..*moves eyes a lot...side to side up, down*  I--I guess so. *smiles*


Girl: Have you seen Pirates of the Caribbean??

Boy: *looks at girl* No.  Have you?

Girl: No. *smiles* Do you plan on seeing it?

Boy: Well,,...I was going to...

Girl: Maybe we'll see each other here. Then.

Boy: Sure. Next week maybe.

Girl: I don't know if I'll be able to come.

Boy: you want my number?

Girl: *laughs* Sorry! But I hardly know you or who you are. ... Plus, my cell phone gets lost a lot so...I mean, I lose it...but ...-well--...there is one way you could keep in touch. I blog. If you want to tell me something. .. Leave a comment wherever and it'll come to me. And if not. If you don't want to *corrects herself<<* I guess I'll see you around.

Boy: Okay. what's the blog called?

Girl: Do you have a piece of paper...or a pen?

Boy: No.

Girl: oh...okay...maybe your friends have a pen or something. I can get a napkin.


Girl: I'm [Kelley]. Do any of you have a pen..or a p--*thinks better of saying "pencil"* some other sort of writing utensil thing?

<>"Nah." "oh! I've got something!"One of them hands it to her>>

Girl: *smiles sweetly/genuinely at the boy who had a pen* Thanks.


Girl: *grabs a napkin and starts writing on it* *writes "".*


Girl: *finishes writing and stands up straight and her bro comes over*

Bro: [Kelley]. We gotta go. Mom really wants to go home. *looks at the other guys curiously* And what are you doing? I'm [Daniel]. *he puts out his hand and shakes the other guys' hands*

Girl: I'm giving him my blog...they might come see Pirates of the Caribbean. And maybe we could see them here when they do.

Bro: What's the blog for?

Girl: *laughs* to keep in touch!

Bro: What happened to texting?

Girl: *looks at him with a "really?" look*rolls eyes* Even you can't keep up with your phone. I can't! This is the best way.

Bro: Good point. Just ... don't take all night.

Girl: Okay... *looks at guys* I gotta get their names right. [Will], [name, name, name, name]. Right?


Girl: There it is. *looks at the napkin again before handing it to him* Can you read it?

Boy: *is obnoxious in a nice way by bringing the napkin so close to his face that he's almost touching the napkin and back and forth again* I think so. *lowers the napkin*

Girl: *smiles* Whatever. :) Well I guess we'll see you around.

Boy: Sure. Bye [Kelley]. [Daniel] *nods*.

Bro: [Will], right? Nice to meet you. Lemme see if I can get everyone else's names right. *gets them all right*. Cool.

Girl: Now let's see if I can remember those names until next time! *laughs*

Bro: You're hopeless.

Girl: Gee, thanks. *"gee, thanks" look*