Thursday, January 19, 2012


MAGGGPIIEE TIMMEE!!! el numero 100! So cool!

Oh My Gosh.
A breath.
A breath and a next breath underwater.
That's like in my dreams.
In my dreams I can breathe underwater.
I was scared at first, especially the first time.
But then I realized that it was just a dream.
And that I would be kept safe because my Creator would not let me drown.
Even in my own tears,
I would not drown.
Even outside of the dream,
and inside of the real-life, for-real life,
I realized that He would not
He will not
He never shall
let me drown.

Underwater is like my depression was.
What if I am lost forever in this depth of depths of depths?
The sea goes on forever,
but I will not.
But He does.

Why couldn't Adam and Eve just stay in the freaking garden.
Why couldn't they just do what He asked?

isn't it interesting how she's already underwater but it seems like only part of her is wet?

I was really scared when I was depressed.
I was really just numb to it all.
In a pressure that was there all the time.
Depressing. Pressing in on me. Pressure.

Maybe the depressing. pressing in on me. pressure will be gone forever for me now?

I hopes so.

But in my dreams, I can breathe underwater.
And there is no pressure.
Just cool air that I squeeze from the water which surrounds me.
So I suppose there still is pressure?
But only a calm kind. 

It's nice. In my dreams. It's dark. But it's light.
I just remember the dark.
But I just remember the nice.
The nice of being able to actually breathe for once.
Under Pressure.

Goodbye Depression Pressure Pressing In On Me.
Good morning Sunshine, just above the horizon and not e'en there when I wake up.
But I see you.
I see you, I tell you!
I see you in this photograph.
A million hundred thousand miles away
with a million hundred thousand things to say
and a million hundred thousand ways to explain.

And you are there, sunshine. You are always there.

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