#68

Listen to me!

There’s this field...that used to be wonderful! And green! This field of green green green grass. So lush. 

There was this poll that I took recently. And when it asked what I was looking forward to most this spring...I clicked “running (maybe barefoot) through grassy fields”.

So Listen to me!

There’s this stupid stupid Weigels being built near my home.

Lucky me, I live on a dead-end street.

A dead-end street that no one can build anything but residential stuff on.

Lucky me. 

Not so for the green grassy field that I pass

EVERY. DAY. On the way. to. school.

THAT field used to have cows in it...until a couple years back...or so it seems. Then, the cows moved farther back from the road and into the land. 

Closer to the little old man and little old lady’s little old house that they’ve lived in for their whole entire life together!

and to build a Weigels on THAT field, next to THEIR house!

Listen to me!

I passed that field and a vaguely thought about how I wanted to take a picture of the cows and of the field, especially when they started advertising the Weigels being built there. 

But did I?

No.

There was always more time.

But guess what now?

That field. That green, grassy, wild-flower-dotted field...it’s gone...it’s all been bulldozed away. THIS MORNING! This VERY MORNING it was NOT like that!

I AM SO MAD!!!!

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY BULLDOZED

ALL. OF. THAT. BEAUTIFUL. LAND!

WHY??? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUILD A STUPID STUPID WEIGELS ON THAT CORNER?? WHY NOT GO RUIN SOMEBODY ELSE’S CORNER?? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE HECK YOU ARE DOING???

...but you don’t care...

...go listen to Jessie J. 

FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG! why don’t you?

It’s all for the money.

The convenience. ... Yuck.

The happiness the Weigels will bring. ... Ew. Yeah, while you little kids of the future go get white powdered, processed donuts from Weigels, you won’t be thinking about the beautiful, grassy, field that used to be home to the cows...and always, welcoming the dots and sprays of white and yellow wild flowers in the field.

4/25/11

(**ps. this isn't that grassy field, as I said, I never got a picture of it. I'll try to get the picture of what's left tomorrow, though.  here's the website I got this pic from: http://www.loudounwildlife.org/HHGrassyFields.htm**)

#67

Joe went Home today.




He took the Lord's hand in the beauty of the spring and was resurrected into the Kingdom of God.


Please pray for Joe's family. And his friends. Those who knew him. And those who missed their chances. Also, those who didn't have a chance.

I'm sure they missed out. I'm one of them.

#66

Okay the first part of this I've already posted somewhere. This is my paragraph for Composition where we're working on Voice, bringing in a song that explains us, and writing a paragraph about it:

I love "I Dare You To Move". It makes somewhere between the pit of my stomach and my chest around my heart tingle...it reminds me of when I was depressed. This is definitely something I would have wanted to listen to then. Because it's such a MOVING song. Daring me to move. Daring me to get my butt of the floor in my secluded little world inside my head and maybe dance in the rain. This is a dance in the rain kind of song. Twirl in your best dress like Taylor Swift and just not have a care in the world. Where there is salvation. It makes me want to dare my class, class of 2015 here at school, to move. I know I've said it before, but I really feel like my classmates dared me to move while I was depressed, subconsciously, as they went on with their lives around me, thus pulling me out of my hole with the tide of life. My wish is for them to be dared to move. I know we're not a perfect grade and that people can be really mean. But as a whole, I really do love my classmates. So this song really reaches to me in a way that not many songs do. It's just the push of the rhythm and the motion of the words and the tone of the voice. It makes me dare to move and dare others to move because sometimes moving is just really, really hard. I can't find words enough to explain all my feelings in one paragraph, and I've already stretched my limit on this...but I really want to dare my class, everyone to move. I'm a writer, I'm a singer, I'm a sharer, I'm a lover, I'm a mover. And I want you, if you feel down and out to move too (not just physically, I'm mostly talking about mentally and in your relationships and stuff), because it'll probably make you feel better.

#65

Mona Lisa-Magpie

She looks happy to me.

I always thought people said she looked said.

And then she reminds me of the public school lunch lady...

it seems as if she has a hairnet on to me. 

Who is she smiling at?

Is it me?

It’s like a smirk...

...what she has upon her face...

...it so strikingly resembles those mean school-kids’ looks...

...except without the cruel eyes...

These eyes are soft. And warm. And without too much fire. They don’t burn in the night, but the reach out to me.

What is she looking at?

I wonder if the painter wondered what she was thinking?

Even if she was no model..just imagination...

what was she thinking?

Did he feel self-conscious, as we all do,

“Do I have a milk mustache?”

“Does my face look weird?”

and then it goes to defensiveness

and evasiveness

“Stop smiling at me like that!”

“Wouldja quit?!?”

“You’re really freaking me out!!”

And then...all of a sudden, we’re overreacting.

And it doesn’t even matter that it’s a face of a woman

who may or may not be sad

And it doesn’t even matter that it was drawn

by a famous artist

Do we care?

I suppose not.

By analyzing all this....

....all this that which I have written.

We, must be too wrapped up in our own little thoughts and boundaries and feelings.

No,

‘tis not wrong to have little thoughts

‘tis not wrong to have boundaries (especially as one grows up)

‘tis not wrong to have feelings (they’re what keep you going)

But I got so wrapped up in my writing...

...that I forgot what I was looking at.

And with life,

sometimes it’s fatal,

when we let. that. happen.

4/1/11

#64

Okay. ... So here's a poem I wrote today ...thinking about what I would want to read for our Poem Reading thing in the next week and a half....

From the get-go...I thought it would be cool to do my own piece. I don't think I'll use this one because there are ones I found that I'd rather use for something like this, but I wanted to share this all the same (it's named after one of my internet aliases. the title came last, after (1) the first two lines, in which "spark" came up just because...and after (2) the next part...where I thought of "benevolence" be/cause (LOL totally unnecessary!) and then it all came from that...this...as written originally. capitalization. punctuation. all that jazz.:::


Benevolence Sparks


Dark to light. light to dark.
hence my soul becomes a spark.
benevolence is as benevolence does
to light/extinguish the fire between all of us


4/1/11

****the slash is said: "to light slash extinguish"
****I wasn't going to do that in the first place...I was trying to figure out a way to make it flow...but then, I decided I'd just write "/" so I'd get it down....but then it sounded good! It toastly adds character!!!

2 all u toastly peeps.
Love,
Kitty

#63

Playlist of 3/11/11


Dancing Crazy by Miranda Cosgrove (the music video most specifically LOL cute puppy. nice touch. Dude, that guy is so erhmm...goood lookin'!!^_^! (in the music vid) and she's cute (in a whole different way than the dudeLOL)I like where she flicks her eyes back and forth. that makes me smile. that she just had fun in that music vid. I LOVE IT!)

The Beat Goes On by Beady Eye (I feel like I've heard this somewhere...but I never heard it often. I wouldn't be surprised if it's one of those songs I heard when I was little, listening to B97.5 or something and it never came up again until recently but I absolutely loved it then)

Everywhere by Michelle Branch (A more recent song that I love. But I LOVE IT!! In 7th grade...the spring...I started drawing scenes for this song, representing the love I had just lost. They were actually pretty good...but I still need to finish them. The first is the best so far.)

Barco De Papel by Gustavo Galindo (Why do I have a song in total Spanish, you ask?? Well, because I thought it was pretty, it was free, and it didn't have any cuss words in it (I checked LOL). Plus, since I went to El Salv, I've been totally caught by the fact of Spanish singing. It just flows! It's so amazing! And...it helps on my Spanish in a fun way! ^_^ I Love you my dearest dear San Salvadorian amigos!!)

Dare You To Move (Did anyone ever tell you how amazing Apple is? And iTunes? And how the name "Genius" for the Genius thing on iTunes where it picks stuff you would like according to what you have is SO LEGIT!!??? Well, i just did, cuz it SO IS LEGIT! I heard this song a few days ago and wrote down the lyrics I heard and when I listened to it in my genius recommendations, I almost freaked because it was what I wanted AND it was on the 69 cent songs....hmmm...now idk if it was on both. but Genius is still amazing!)

Überlin by R.E.M. (I almost feel like I've heard this before, but I'm sure it was just the beat and I've heard songs by R.E.M. before. Not the song. But still, very good.)

Holy Holy by Wye Oak (A song I got free on iTunes but haven't listened to the words very closely yet. Haven't looked up the lyrics either. But I like the tune. Different, alternative, but I like that kind of stuff.)

Graduation (Friends Forever) Vitamin C (I totally thought about singing this for the talent show, and now I kind of wish I had for the smallish bear one (sorry, the term smallish bear is from the Brother Bear movies), just warned them that I was sick and didn't have any accompament (sp?) It is totally for all the people leaving next year. I'll probably record myself singing it and put it on YouTube for everyone to see. THIS IS FOR THE CLASS OF 2015 AS OF THE WHOLE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! YOU ROCK AND I WILL MISS Y'ALL (who are leaving) SO MUCH!! THIS IS FOR YOU!!!)

Slide by The Goo Goo Dolls (This was def in Genius Recommendations. And I freaked when I heard this one too! I heard it on the radio around the same day I heard "Dare You To Move", and I wrote down the lyrics I could catch. I had no idea it was called Slide, but I got it once I found it!! Go GENIUS!! AFTER WEBBKINZ THOUGH!! "What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful...I wanna wake up where you are.")

And those are the only songs on my iTunes on my computer right now because my computer crashed. I'll sync my iPod soon, though. I can't believe I seriously just wrote all that about all 9 songs...I love "I Dare You To Move". It makes somewhere between the pit of my stomach and my chest around my heart tingle...it reminds me of when I was depressed. This is definitely something I would have wanted to listen to then. Because it's such a MOVING song. Daring me to move. Daring me to get my butt of the floor in my secluded little world inside my head and maybe dance in the rain. This is a dance in the rain kind of song. Twirl in your best dress like Taylor Swift and just not have a care in the world. Where there is salvation. And just "Laugh Your Heart out. Dance In The Rain. Cherish The Moment. Ignore the Pain. Live, Laugh, Love, Forgive, and Forget. Life is Too Short To Be living With Regrets. I could listen to this song over and over again. ^_^ Maybe it's my song for this year. ....Yeah....welcoming back to the planet, to existence, where everyone is, watching me to make sure I'm okay (those who knew), and wondering what happens next after 8th grade. What happens next after Leelee leaves. What happens next now that I'm out of my depression and in school for the last year of my life in Middle School. It's a fall out. It's a resistance that we don't know we're a part of. Tension...but not so much in my social life...between who I am and who I could be (like wanting to do the ceremony at the tomb of the Unknown Soldiers) between what is and what should be (and not knowing what should be with some ppl and things). Forgiveness...inside myself. Where can I run to when I'm scared of myself? My friends. Just let me breathe as I listen to this song and so many things run through, and move me through my head. This is my year to move! And it has been and will be! To move after my depression and to move for the 7th and 6th graders who look up to us. And to move running. Run. Run. Run. Run to not be numb anymore. Run to feel. This song makes me FEEL and FEEL SO GOOD AFTER I FELL LIKE I DID.
What happens when Bisael comes home. What happens when bro gets mad. What happens when I see certain once-hurting people on stage. So many more things that I could write for a lOOOONG time about this. Welcome me to the planet. Welcome me to the existence. Let me see everyone, because everyone's here. Let me wait for them and watch for them like they did for me, even without knowing it, they did.

CLASS OF 2015, I DARE YOU TO MOVE. LIKE YOU DARED ME TO MOVE WHEN YOU WENT ON WITH YOUR LIVES WHILE I WAS DEPRESSED. YOU KEEP ROCKIN' ON IN THE RAIN, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE GONE, AND MAYBE NOT CLASS OF 2015 OF THIS SCHOOL. YOU JUST KEEP ROCKIN' ROCKIN' ROCKIN' ON. YOU BROUGHT ME BACK FROM EMPTINESS, CHAOS, A SILENT STRUGGLE THAT WAS IN MY EYES FOR THOSE WHO LOOKED CLOSE ENOUGH, AND FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T. YOU BROUGHT ME BACK FROM A LIVING, BREATHING HELL OF A DARK EMPTY SPACE. THE GRAYNESS OF IT ALL SCARED ME. THE FUZZINESS, UNLIKE A CUDDLY TEDDY BEAR, BUT SO MUCH LIKE AN OLD TV WHEN IT CAN'T PICK UP A SIGNAL. IT MADE EVERYTHING DARK AND DENSE, AND THE WORLD SEEMED TO BE SUFFOCATING ME. I FELT AS IF I WERE UNDER A ROCK. SQUISHED IN A MOIST, RAINY, MUDDY, GRAY AND BROWN AND BLACK HOLE. SOUNDS WERE MUFFLED. I smiled. I had fun. I laughed. I had good days, and not so good days, and awful, heart-breaking, mind-tearing days. YOU ARE MY FALL OUT AND MY RESISTANCE. AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT. NOW....I...


NOW WE CAN RELAX. NOW WE CAN ALL RELAX TOGETHER.
HERE'S MY WISH TO ALL OF YOU.








I DARE YOU TO MOVE.











(originally: 3/11/11 Friday, 10:10PM)

#62

One last thing....

Here's the count:

60 posts in 365 days.
That's one about every 6 days.
To be exact, one every 6.29310345 days.
If you evened it out.
But as you can see,
that's not how it was.
With long, empty spaces of no voice,
and then voice out of no where in 5 posts in 1 day,
there was nothing average,
there was nothing perfect,
about it all.
There isn't.
And there never will be.
If one day you see that I post every day,
you can look back and see when I didn't,
like,
when I had a life.
^_^
But,
no,
seriously,
I have to go now,
and that's how it always will be.
I can't always talk to you,
but I will for now.
So good night, dear friend.
And I love you.
Especially for listening to me.




AS WE SPEAK
I DARE YOU TO MOVE.