#58

57 minutes left on my computer.
57 posts about my world.
48 minutes now left.
time seems to fly too fast, it's so absurd.
Larry's mother telling me it's so good to see me.
So it must have been God leading me that way.
To pick up the pens, put them back where they belong,
and now I ponder the words that she said.
Because here and now, to now and then, happens every scary second that passes every scary time.
Because soon and when, to when and gone, comes whether you want it to or not.
1 hour, 12 minutes left on my computer.
Only time will tell if we can go all back in time.
1 hour, 10 minutes left on my computer.
Not a very good example of the world, I guess.
Because you can't go back.
You can't change anything.
Accept it Accept it Accept it.
You must.
Or you'll never see the light.
Back to 1 hour, 12 minutes left on my computer.
and now 1 hour, 10 minutes left right afterwards.
It's not right.
It's not fair.
...
Life doesn't care.
And it can't help it.
'Cause it's time.
1/2/11

--Wow. 2011. It's really really 2011. This will take some getting used to...Even if I don't want to. Because I will. I can't help it. 'Cause it's time.

#57

Oh, and Dad came home for Xmas. He actually came home a week or so before, but now he's gone back for 10 days. Blegh. But then he'll be coming home for good. YAY!

Anyhoo...Here's a quote:

"Talk to me not of time and place; I owe I'm happy to the chase."
--Shakespeare.

#56

So...Dad's home, just fyi. He's actually been home for a while now. A ... well, two weeks or so? I guess...Sounds about right. I guess we're going on the third week.

#55

I know where I belong. I belong in this school. This life. These people. My peers are my friends. My teachers are my mentors. The only thing that is a little scary is the Upper School, but it won't be for long. Next year, it won't be scary anymore. And I will be able to walk the halls with my head held high with all the people in them. But no, maybe I will be able to do that this year too. And today.

Today has been such a great day.

Thanks to:

1) Uhuh/MLee
2) staring at earlobes
3) pledging allegience to two American flags in the morning (I pledge allegience to...oh my gosh! There's two flags!--it was funnier when we were talking about it)
4) laughing your head off for no reason...except because it's funny
5) leelee's crackers
6) cemetaries, sedimentary, PEHnguins, dancing penguins, and a smiling face of someone you love.
7) that grade is coming home.


And penguins can't get hot because they're penguins! And it's cold down there. And thinking this through.
That's a different story for a different day.
When the plane saved the day.

Love. Peaches. Chicken Greases. Rock On Foozsh!

#54

My most recent addition on my list of HOPE is this realization that I actually love a certain person as a person, a human being, with feelings, the way I try to love everyone. This isn't lovey-dovey, and mushy-gushy love...or the love/lust thing with your significant other. Or the plain ol' innocent love with that special person! This is loving someone because they are a person...and a human being with feelings...and because this is the way God wants us to be. He wants us to love everyone.
And I finally don't see this person as an annoying substance! Okay, I never did, but I'm trying to say that I'm actually back to the point I was at before this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing happened. I realized, today, that I have the same feeling I had towards him (omgoo it's a him! I bet you were trying to figure that out ^_^) BEFORE WAY BEFORE I started having the slightest feelings of a maybe crush.

THIS FEELING IS AMAZING!
I have toastly come FULL CIRCLE!
Yes! Scarbs! Everything comes full circle, and I just had an EUREKA! because my life...my life just did...it came full circle.

And it feels amazing. One of the best feelings I've had in a LONG LONG time.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for waiting. I'm sorry I made you all wait a whole month for another post...
October was very busy. And the computer wasn't always availible. That's because Ms. Bieber was at my house. ^_^
More on that later.
<3kitty

#53

I do care. I do want him to come home. But as I told him two weeks ago, I don't want him coming back until he won't do it again. I don't want you to come back, Dad, until you will never ever EVER EVER relapse again!! But...the thing that scares me is that...what if you never come back? What if you never come back? It's not like there's a scanner they put you through and it all of a sudden says, "You will never relapse again". And that scares me. Because then you would never come back.

#52

Nobody ever grows unless there's pain.