I'm starting to think I am kind of bipolar.
That's what I desired least for in the world. All this time. Especially in relation to the situation.
I never wanted him to be right.
I'm getting to thinking, does it matter? Does it really, really matter that much whether he was right or not?
I feel bad. I feel bad about this...that everyone else is moved on and others have moved into my life and I've still not moved on from that.
But I just wonder.
However, it also makes me wonder if the people who have moved in dislike, or are possibly turned off by, my wondering.
However, I wonder if my wondering is driving these people away...whether they realize it or not.
What?! Am I going to have a mental breakdown when I turn 45?
Why do I feel all this pain and not feel sad and not get depressed? And why do I feel it in short bursts?
I want to get psychoanalyzed. I know it sounds crazy but I want to know what's going on in my head.
I'm not depressed. At least, I don't think I am.
Why am I giddily happy one minute and mad the next?
Is it my environment--at least partially?--or is it just completely, wholly me?
What's wrong? And is there anything wrong?
Am I just paranoid?
I might be.
Do I think to much?
Am I providing the correct answers for myself?
How the heck should I know?
....that's why I'm asking... D: