After all this time, there you go.
There you go
you have disappeared
and I am left to wonder
and wander
in this gray haze.
Are you gone for good?
Or are you ever coming back?
Am I supposed to wait on you?
Or am I allowed to move forward with my life?
Sir Some Guy, I always loved you. And I still care about you,
But waiting three weeks for you to text or call me back is a bit much.
I would start over for you, but I won't wait forever for you.
If you want to break up, call me. If you don't want to break up, call me. If you don't want to call me, call me. If you're afraid I'll be mad, call me. Just whatever you do, WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL ME FOR GOODNESS' SAKE LOOK ME UP IN THE PHONEBOOK OR SOMETHING TALK TO YOUR PARENTS IF YOU'RE GROUNDED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THERE AND SO I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING TO YOU AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
I HAVE BEEN MAD AT YOU.
BUT I AM SO STEADILY--SLOWLY, BUT STEADILY--DRIFTING AWAY. BUT I'M NOT EVEN DRIFTING AWAY. I AM STAYING RIGHT HERE I JUST HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHERE YOU ARE AND WHETHER YOU'RE COMING BACK OR NOT. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS SUCKS FOR ME? I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE ENORMITY OF THIS ISSUE.
YOU DON'T JUST SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR IT TO FEEL OKAY. AT THIS POINT IT WILL NEVER FEEL OKAY AND WHERE ARE WE THEN? OFFICIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT TECHNICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY OUT?
WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU AND WHAT AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THIS TO ME? I AM ASHAMED TO TELL MY FRIENDS. I AM SO SO SAD AND DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BUT MOSTLY DISAPPOINTED. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. I DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT'S HAPPENING BECAUSE I FORGET ABOUT IT. I ALMOST RATHER YOU WOULD HAVE TEXTED ME AND BROKEN UP WITH ME THAT WAY INSTEAD OF LEAVING ME HANGING OUT HERE NOT KNOWING IF WE'RE BROKEN UP OR IF WE'RE STILL TOGETHER. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS SITUATION.
IT WAS GOING TO BE OKAY. IT WAS GOING TO GET BETTER AND EASIER BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO GET MY LICENSE IN TWO WEEKS BUT ALMOST MY BIGGEST REASON FOR WORKING SO HARD ON THAT WAS YOU AND NOW THAT I CAN'T FIND YOU, IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE 45 MINUTES I DROVE YESTERDAY, MY HOURS OF DRIVING HAVE BEEN AT A STANDSTILL FOR A WEEK AND A HALF.
AND WHEN I HAD MY LICENSE, FOOTBALL SEASON WOULD HAVE BEEN CLOSE TO, IF NOT ALREADY, OVER AND YOU WOULD HAVE HAD MORE TIME AND WE COULD HAVE ACTUALLY GONE AND DONE SOMETHING TOGETHER.
AND IT WAS GOING TO GET BETTER. BUT YOU COULDN'T WAIT ANYMORE COULD YOU?
OR ARE YOU JUST GROUNDED?
OR DID YOU JUST LOSE YOUR PHONE?
THERE IS SUCH THING AS A PHONE BOOK, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, AND SUCH A THING AS YOUR MEMORY WHERE YOU HAVE MY LAST NAME STORED, AND SUCH A THING AS YOUR MOM'S MEMORY WHERE SHE MAY REMEMBER MY MOM'S NAME OH MY GOSH ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
There are SO many ways I could keep going with this, but for now...I just want you to promise me one thing other than if you see this that you will call me:
Promise me this one thing:
Promise me that you will never, EVER, walk over another girl the way you have walked all over me. Promise me that you'll treat the next girl you date with a little more respect, thankyouverymuch. When you want it to be over, call her and tell her, even if you know you'd both rather do that in person. If you lose your phone or get grounded for eternity (or something similar), promise me that you will try to find any way possible to get back in touch. Don't ever leave your future girlfriend(s) hanging for more than two weeks, even if your plan is to get them out of your life. You treat the girl who sacrificed her embarrassment, insecurities, I'll-just-keep-to-myself-ness, and desires to not get hurt again with more respect than that. She followed your heart for you, and this is how you repay her! She went out on a limb for you and you need to either chop that limb off with her or show her that you're still there. You don't just jump up to another limb or the next tree over. You give her the respect she deserves--the respect anyone deserves--and you don't do anything that would come off as ignoring her for three weeks.
So.. Call me. Call me and tell me what the heck is going on. Let me know if I'll ever see you again. Let me know if you are interested in starting over, because my interest has not completely faded.
I wasn't done with you. I had a few more dreams up my sleeve and pressed to my heart that had to do with you and you know it! You know it so well! On the other hand, if this applies, let me know if we need to saw this limb off the tree! I mean, seriously! Get a grip and take care of your business. I am your business until you saw me off and I am still here, intact and so is that fricking branch. Okay? Are you comprehending this metaphor?
Call me. Just call me call me call me. Don't text the girl: Call the girl. Even if you no longer want to kiss the girl.
And treat the next girl a little better. Thanks.
