#135

Sometimes... I think that boys are just clueless and there's absolutely no cure or explanation for it...

#134

DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS IF YOU DO END UP COMING ON HERE AND SEEING WHAT I WROTE.

please don't.

#133

I'm really worried about Saturday.

I'm really worried about my friends. Certain ones. Who seem to care an awful lot about me.

What if they're hurt when they see me with him there a lot?
...like, I don't even know how to bring it up with him.

Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll come on here and see this.

(Yeah guys! Actually I think I only have girls following this but that's okay I meant it generally! I actually have somebody else coming on...occasionally. But occasionally is just as cool. I don't think anyone else besides me comes on an almost daily basis)

But even if he did I'd be reeaaallllyyy embarrassed.
Dontjudgedontjudgedontjudgedontjudge.
Or please do.

Judging is okay sometimes, actually.
True feelings and stuff.
Or if you're ignorant, it might not show viable true feelings and stuff.
But I guess it would still show true feelings and stuff.

But you could also be naive and it wouldn't be as bad.
But I guess. .... Being ignorant about something like that isn't too awful in the first place.

It's just who you are. One cannot help such a thing. Why would you want to change anyways? Why would you want to help yourself not be you? You wouldn't be helping yourself...then you'd just be wasting time. Because you are you are you are you and that's a fact. No changing it. You can be you trying to be someone else, but you are always still you.


...
....
......I love that fact of life. :))

#132

When I see you put yourself out there, I'm almost 100% sure that you mean what you say.
I have put myself out there, in front of you, as you have seen.

...But, somehow, I feel I am more wary of putting myself out there.

YOU aren't a lifeline. I can feel that you can be one sometimes. You can be like one. But you ARE NOT ONE. You are a person with feelings and fears.
A person that I care about a lot, I'll even admit it on here.

Why more wary of putting myself out there in front of you and directed towards you? It's because I ...
It's because it's not official. Anything about or between you and I.
And I don't want to be in a situation where you could possibly turn around and disappear and not be as inclined to say why or how, because it wasn't official in the first place.

I can tell anyone that I care about them.

It's not that I don't trust in you.
Believe me, I do.
But I am a realist after all. Even if being a dreamer comes first, even if being a fighter and a lover and a friendlier all come first.... I can still be realistic. And I am.

But a realist is not all of who I am.
I am just me.
Kitty. Ana. Kelsey.

And this is how I feel.

#131

Magpie again! Number 102!

(there's a link on the post of my other blog to the picture of the magpie HERE)



Angry.
Crazy.
Wild.
Frustrated.
Immensely oblivious to that which surrounds.
Except for overwhelming feelings of
hatred, but not so harsh
depression, but not so deep
happiness, but not so joyful
and calamity, but not so calm.
Rancor of sounds and noises
Rancor of colors and sights
Rancor of listeners and talkers
Rancor of claims of "love at first sight"
In a sort of a "I'm a vampire; I bite"
Sort of way.
Scared.
Anxious.
Disgusted.
Full of greed.
Crazy.
Wild.
Angry.
Scattered.
Done.

#130

I CAN STILL HEAR YOU WHEN YOU CUSS UNDER YOUR BREATH, YOU KNOW!

DUHHHH.

#129

SHUT UP ABOUT MY FRICKIN' DOG YOU STUPID MORON!!!!